‘Proverbs 31 husband’ justifies beer habit
Just read the following article that I got from this web site.
MINOT, N.D. — Jack Crocker, a beer-loving machinist and “part-time Christian,” finally agreed to read Proverbs with wife Reanna. He’s glad he did.
“I’m a Proverbs 31 husband all right,” says Jack, then quotes Proverbs 31:6-7: “Give beer to those who are perishing, wine to those who are in anguish; let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more.”
“That’s my permission to crack open a cold one,” Jack says, having a Coors after dinner.
But Reanna, a new church member, is pushing Jack hard to stop drinking. She insists he is neither “perishing” nor “in anguish.” But Jack researched the Bible on the Internet and found 2 Corinthians 4:16 and 5:2 which say, “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day,” and “Meanwhile we groan, longing to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling.”
“Everyone is perishing and in anguish,” Jack says. “Until we’re delivered from these bodies, the Bible says to drink up.”
As part of the escalating family tension he created a “Proverbs 31″ category on their weekly budget and listed “beer” under it. He also wants to start a Proverbs 31 Men’s Group with his buddies.
“We’re trying to find where the Bible talks about buffalo wings,” he says.
Sounds like this guy has some man-up issues and I don’t understand the “part-time Christian” part. It sounds like the guy is trying to twist scripture to give him permission to sit around on his butt all day. It sounds like his wife is caught up in trying to convert her husband into churchdom and not to Christ. I must say though that I like the fact that they are budgeting.
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Greg, you do understand that Lark News is a satire site, right? Thanks for the story; it’s hilarious, even though it sounds a bit like some folks I know.